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Autumn Romance

Dear Hannah.

I am a woman of 71 who enjoys living alone. I have many interests and acquaintances. Still, it would be lovely to have dinner with a man, or go to a movie, or just walk along Spanish Bank in the late afternoon. I miss dating and the pleasure which comes from sharing intimate moments. Should I giveup on men? Is it too late? Am I being foolish in even broaching the question? Is an “autumn romance” out of the question?

Dear “Autumn Romance”

Men and women are living much longer than 25 years ago. Medications address hormonal deficiencies in women and erectile dysfunction in men: it is time to challenge the stereotypes about older people, their intimate relationships and sex.

Romance is possible at any age. Sexual attraction is the natural consequence of having fun and of feelings of intimacy. Seniors who are willing to get out of their comfort zone and meet potential partners can benefit from the challenge, from the increased self-awareness; and they may eventually form new relationships which includes intimacy and trust.

How can you find people to date and perhaps find a partner?

a) If there is a man in your milieu who you admire; engage him in conversation; men are often shy and shun rejection. You have nothing to lose.

b) There is an internet site called Meetup where you can join groups of people involved in doing various activities like walking, hiking and taking tours in Vancouver. Participate in the group that suites your age, your interests and your abilities. Don’t forget the activities at the JCC or at your local community centre.

c) I recommend the website The Top 10 Senior Singles Dating Sites. If you wish to restrict your search to Jewish men, I recommend JDate. Of course, one must be cautious. I suggest you exchange emails a couple of times, and then meet for coffee in a conveniently-located public place. There is nothing better than meeting the person, face-to-face. Proceed slowly. The internet is a very useful place to check people’s credentials.